I appreciate this may be a quite a long post but please just take 5 minutes out of your day to read this and donate to the heart rhythm charity
'you don't look sick'
'you look fine'
'it cant be that bad'
'you still get out'
These are just some of the things you hear all the time purely because people aren't aware. I don't tend to tell people how often I feel unwell or how things affect me daily for the reason people don't understand, even when in hospital feeling really ill and exhausted I've still tried my best to work and gone out and seen friends even for a few hours its amazing how good you become at slapping a smile on your face and saying you feel ok but truth is your feeling awful.
Try to imaging each day you feel like your doing a gym workout, the feeling of been out of breath and your heart pounding except it never ends and your not exercising, the dizzy feeling comes on the sweat and heat you feel on your back and hands, ears start to ring but a dull ring until you wake up lying on the floor, or sometimes if you manage to beat it taking to lying down on the floor to try to make it stop to prevent the black out. The feeling that comes after of been exhausted feeling so sick some times feeling so bad sleeping is the only option to make it all go away.
The terrifying feeling of fainting alone or the feeling of waking up in the middle of the night with the feeling of your heart racing the panic that goes through you when you know you need to relax and stay calm because panicking makes it worse.
The tablets we take everyday, morning and night just to slow the heart down and stop it racing, but even on bad days these tablets do nothing, and when you are poorly and its caused a trip to the hospital the same routine of chest x-rays, cannulas, drugs, ecgs, bags of fluids and chats with every medical professional under the sun and the waiting game of the heart slowing down.
The feeling of worry when you wonder if you will make it to the shops, the feeling of dread when you feel all the symptoms come on and no by lying on the floor to make it all stop will cause the public to stare and raise a eyebrow and if the shops are busy makes it all a lot worse as the anxiety kicks in to.
It can also effect you mentally as well as physically, feeling scared and alone when symptoms do start the feeling of been alone and fainting and relying on members of the public to help,the dreading thought of will you wake up ok, the feeling of hurt when people look at you like your on drugs or drunk, crossing pavements and roads to keep away from you when all you want is help and it all to stop. It hurts to have plans and have to cancel them and seen all your friends have fun whilst your at home struggling just wishing you could be there. It would be nice to not have the worry and anxiety of ' will I manage today' having no control over any it the sadness and anxiety spreads to other parts of your life.
I am really lucky that I have good friends and family that understand but there is always going to be people that don't get it, just think your making it up and think your being a drama queen they don't understand how one day you can be fine and the next day your struggling.
A few years ago when I collapsed and my heart just wouldn't slow down,it was the scariest time of my life as I lay in hospital helpless waiting for them to slow my heart down the doctor at the time was really good and after a few hours my heart rate did drop ... just never enough even after two ablation procedures my heart continues to race making each day a constant battle, but getting through each day without fainting is a bonus something others take for granted.
Some fast facts
1.000.000 people suffer from an arrhythmia
120.000 people experience unexplained loss of consciousness each year
100.000 sudden cardiac deaths occur each year
30% of adults and 39% of children are misdiagnosed with epilepsy when they have a heart rhythm disorder
1 in 85 people has experienced an arrhythmia
If you've got this far thank you, please share this blog, we want to raise as much awareness as possible an arrhythmia is part of me , it doesn't define me and without any of this I wouldn't of met some amazing and wonderful people. I take each day as it comes and each day I am thankful that my heart does beat and with each day that passes I am closer to my goal of raising awareness and not letting any of it beat me, but in fact making me stronger !