You would think you get used to fainting when its something that effects you nearly everyday in life, it never gets any easier to accept it, if anything each time its harder known that your sick, that no matter how much you try to live each day as normal as you can, but the same barrier is put in your way time and time again.
On Friday I had one of the worst days in over a year going to my bed exhausted on Thursday night but feeling fine, I woke up over 3 times during the night that feeling of your heart racing the sweat and clammy feeling, you close your eyes just wanting it to all go away and you know if you can get back to sleep it will all disappear but for me it kept happening, part of me feeling frightened, the pins and needles in my arms and hands, the numb feeling in my legs all just got worse trying not to panic and wake Dougie I lay there waiting on it all to pass,
Waking up in the morning I mentioned to Dougie how bad my night was, but I still felt totally exhausted he phoned his mum to come and look after Kian, sitting talking to his mum in the living room that sudden feeling of am going to pass out your ears start to ring the sweat lashes off you the pain you feel in your chest I managed to lie down were Dougie's mum was in total shock how the colour had just drained from my face, helping me through to bed and wetting my face with a cold cloth she phoned the doctor to see if anyone would come out, where we were told to phone an ambulance, but as others know with this condition its sometimes best just to sleep it off and wait for it all to pass and me being stubborn and because I hate the hospital so much, decided to do that, falling asleep Dougie's mum took Kian out to give me some quiet to sleep it off in the hope I would feel better.
A few hours later Dougie came home from work waking up I suddenly got that feeling of am going to throw up were I sat for a few minutes in the toilet, grabbing a drink of water I headed back to bed but getting up a few hours later again because I still felt sick ... But next thing I remember is waking up on the bathroom floor the paramedic asking me if I have hurt myself and if I was in pain anywhere, and the questions they start to ask you of do you no were you are ?, what day is it, ?Do you know what happened ? It takes you awhile to realise for that split second its happened again .. But that your ok the feeling of moving your body when they ask if you have hurt yourself not known but you think your ok attaching an ecg to me, my heart was beating to slow and my blood pressure was low helping me to my feet and getting me out to the ambulance I was still in shock as the faint came from no were and my chest was still sore.
Lying on the bed in the ambulance I was giving gas and air for my chest as I still had the sore tight chest pain, seeing Kian go away with Dougie's mum I just broke down into tears, feeling like a totally failure that I had spent the whole day in bed when I should of been looking after him myself. Getting to the hospital I was took straight into a bay were I was giving an ecg which showed my heart rate was still to slow and was only 41bpm next to come was the dreaded venflon which for me nobody can ever get in and if they do my vein just collapses after a few attempts the nurse gave up and got the doctor who again had to use a ultrasound scanner to get it in place and I was told I would be in for a few hours so they could keep an eye on me.
Moved round to immediate care I was hocked up to monitors again and after a few hours my heart rate still wouldn't increase but the doctor finally decided to let me home and that he didn't really know what he could do for me as increasing my heart rate with drugs wasn't an option as I was then increasing my risk of my tachycardia and that it was best to just be left alone and that he would pass on what had happened to my cardiologist giving an anti sickness tablet and discharged home and told to rest till I had recovered, Dougie managed to drive just round the corner we hadn't even made it out the hospital were I had to ask him to pull over and felt totally embarrassed throwing up at the side of the road but too exhausted to even stand up I was hanging with one leg out the car, getting home I went to bed and slept the rest of the day/night way.
The waiting game of sitting waiting Kian didn't seem bothered when I wasn't
for your heart rate to go back to normal around leaving him because of it all really
breaks my heart.
Life of a spoonie when your veins collapse all the time and you constantly walk around brusied.
Giving up isn't an option when Me and my new glasses :)
this cheeky face smiles back at you, my whole reason
for getting up each morning.
Love and Hugs
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