When I was only 7 weeks pregnant and first had my pregnancy confirmed I was classed as a high risk and me and Dougie were told the risks due to my health and taking beta blockers to control my heart made it more likely we were going to have a smaller baby.
Swallowing beta blockers day and night just to control my heart made me feel sad and angry as I just want our baby to have the best start at life and hated myself for not been able to live with the symptoms, but for me this was never an option as a day without heart tablets leaves me physically unable to do anything without fainting. On |Friday morning I had the first growth scan booked and that morning everything started to sink in and a little bit of sadness started to fill my heart knowing if there was problems it was all because of me, but to our amazement our baby at 28 weeks 4 days is actually measuring bigger than average, seen the little face appear on the screen just makes my love grow for our baby even more and then hearing the heart beating loudly and the midwife said it sounded like a horse galloping is just so precious and after each appointment I am more and more grateful that I have made it this far despite everything with my health and I know with each day that passes I am closer to meeting our strong baby.
I feel this baby has made me stronger as a person as with each day I gain more and more confidence to go out alone and the the fear of passing out no longer exists I stopped all my painkillers and other medication and control my feelings without having to rely on medication, this week was hard as mentally and physically I am trying to make it to work and complete each day without having to say I don't feel well and have being doing it really well but I am physically exhausted coming in from work and spending the whole day and night sleeping, even going for a shower now or combing my hair is becoming a task leaving me having to lie down for hours after it as some days I am having bad days with my heart and this week I did break down crying saying to Dougie I didn't no what was wrong with me as normally a days rest helps but this week no matter how much I slept the feeling of being dizzy,exhausted and my heart pounding wouldn't shift.
The obstetrician I seen on Friday after my scan was amazing and I spoke with her about the way I was feeling and how I was starting to struggle with my heart and she said she wasn't suprised I was so exhausted and we spoke about increasing my beta blockers or putting me back on the ones that I was on before I was pregnant but I myself want to wait and see if things improve before doing this, we also spoke about labour as my midwife had said she wasn't sure if they would let the baby come naturally but because I control my condition well and keep fit and well despite the heart they think the best option is a natural birth and we spoke about giving me drugs to control my heart during labour and to my shock they said a c -section would put strain on my heart and strain after with the pain and recovery so putting strain on it during labour and controlling it is the best option, unless my health decreases.
At the moment we have a breach baby but have been told there is plenty time for it to move and also found out I have a thing called an anterior placenta which explains why I don't feel movements as much as I should as my placenta is acting like a cushion between me and the baby which is fab for me sleeping and things at night all of this helping my heart, here is hoping at the next scan our baby has grown as big this time strong mummies really do make strong babies, 11 weeks left till our due date and counting down.
Our little baby at 28 weeks 4 days measuring bigger than average despite beta blockers.
My 28 week 4 day Bump (boyorgirl)
Danielle, stay strong and never give up. Your story is the evidence that it is always worth it to fight.ReplyDelete
Hugs and kisses
Your story touched me a lot and i've never seen such a brave and strong girl like you before. I just wanted to tell you this, even though you probably hear this all the time., your a true inspiration to many no matter whats thrown at you it will be ok i know that you'll handle it, cuz you're strong and gone through a lotReplyDelete
You don't know me and i just write this down to tell you that i'm extremely proud of you. I'll quit smoking now and tell my husband too, cause of you. cause you showed me how precious life really is
I love you for being so strong and i wish you, your husband and your baby all the very best in the world. you will have one strong baby ! Lots of love and hugs and kisses,
Beautifully written blog. Everyday I check your blog hoping for an update I hope the start of 2015 brings you the gift of doctors fixing your heartReplyDelete
You are all in my thoughts.