Invisible Illness <3
Hearing over and over again 'you look good' 'you look healthy'
I sometimes freeze and don't no what to say, maybe if you could see the bruises I feel, if they were blue, purple and green. If the burned skin blistered, or maybe even burned your skin too, If the tremors were more violent, if my sore muscles screamed louder and you could hear the cracking of my joints or the pounding in my head if the shooting pains in my chest were little sparks of light and the dull aching was a bright red glow. If you could see the fog swirling around my brain. If you took my hand or touched my shoulder and you could feel how heavy the weight is, if the sadness made me waste away and the fatigue swallowed me up... and I never woke up.
Maybe then you would believe me, wouldn't you ?
At the moment I feel In a constant battle me against my body, my passion and my dreams and what I want to do with my life against what I am physically able to do of all the problems in my life, the hurt pain and frustration there is one thing that bothers me the most and it is ignorance of people, having a condition that affects your life in so many ways is enough to deal with.
The reason for my rant today as recently I have been getting a lot of stares as YES I am registered with a disability something I don't shout at the top of my lungs not only do I suffer from ist that causes me to black out I also struggle with my mobility due to my knees, and the ignorant comments and snobby looks I have been receiving lately. My knees have became a lot worse with being pregnant and can only walk so far and then they start to swell and give way not to mention the pain, but heading to the shops the other day Dougie parked into a disabled bay something I don't normally do when I am feeling ok and not in to much pain, and the comments of
' When did being pregnant become a disability'
I have learned to accept people don't see invisible disabilities but sometimes wish people wouldn't be so narrow minded, my knees get me down more than having my heart issues as things I loved doing so much I have had to give up. Since my operation I have never been able to walk up stairs and have to rely on lifts, going swimming alone which helps my knees cannot be done and need to rely on Dougie as the battle of getting in and out the pool I cant do alone, Going on holiday I always wait to be the last on the plane due to my slow walking and having to go up the plane stairs one at a time, people might ask why I don't go when they call for elderly and children but I never like to be treated different and try and keep all the dignity I have left with my mobility, even learning to drive became a task having to switch to automatic ... with left footed pedals as I am now physically unable to move my right knee from pedals.
We are all human, we can not define normal so accept people for who they are, and remember "treat others how you, yourself would like to be treated".
Even on My hen Party I became a hooter Girl In a knee Brace <3
So all I am trying to say is that something visible shouldn't cause judgement and turn heads in society it should stop. And that an invisible disability shouldn't cause judgement either unless you know the full story. I'm going to leave you with this question. If you were judged, stared at or treated horrible by people because of a disability whether it be physical or not. How would you like it? How would you feel?
Thank you for reading. Please share and lets change the way the society thinks and their ignorance to disabilities.
Love and Hugs Danielle xxxx
A Note Dougie Left at hospital once after just leaving the car to help me in because I couldn't walk far <3
The Knee Braces I have been in when knee has been Really sore